Ah Fork!

Ok, I really debated on whether or not to tell this story. It's funny, but it's also a little embarrassing. But I decided that even before I had children, I always found stories with children in the center to be hilarious. Well, now it's my turn.

I love 'Busy'. I mean, I could just squeeze him I love him so much. 'Busy' is a genius...a child prodigy. I know, every mom thinks their child is smart, and I'm no different. But 'Busy' really IS smart. (I see you rolling your eyes.) Since he's nearing 2, he's been babbling away for months and he's really getting the hang of certain words and even short sentences. Before I go on with the story, here are some things you should know about 'Busy'. He weened himself off the bottle. After he got the hang of the sippy cup and finger food, he refused to take the bottle anymore. This was before his 1st birthday. I still fed him rice cereal and baby food at night (to keep him asleep) but by 14 mths he was refusing that too. No more baby food. Before 18mths, he was feeding himself with a fork and spoon (yes, it was terribly messy). We didn't make him, he insisted. The point I'm trying to make is he has his own idea of how things should go and that's that. I'm afraid to say, he comes by it naturally (both sides). I get a lot of looks in the store when he frowns and points and yells at people, but hey, what can I do?

So, a couple of weeks ago, the three of us were having a fun-filled Saturday running errands etc. We stop off for a late lunch in a small town we rarely visit to eat at a Hamburger Joint we've never been to (and will probably never be back to). I figure 'Busy' is hungry, but this is about the time he was going through this "I wouldn't eat an ice cream cone with sprinkles if you gave me the chance" phase. We order, sit in a booth and occupy 'Busy' while we wait for our food.

The waitress brings out our food and out of nowhere 'Busy', who is standing up in the booth bouncing and pointing, screams 'Ah, f**k', Ah f**k, AH F**K!!!"

My Love and I are looking at each other like 'What the heck is he saying?' 'Where did he hear that?'. We're getting ready to blame each other. The waitress is suppressing a snide smirk that says "That'll teach you to cuss around your kid". But we don't use this language. We don't watch shows with this language and if we were to watch a movie with this word it wouldn't be while 'Busy' was awake.

We're trying to calm him down, all the while he keeps screaming the same phrase and reaching across the table at what we do not know. My Love unrolls the napkin holding the silverware, hands 'Busy' a fork and immediately 'Busy' says "Thank you, daddy" sits down and spears a french fry.

Oh, you wanted a fork. Right, yes, of course you did. A FORK!!! So, of course, we start saying, 'Oh, Good  using your "FORK" 'Busy', very good." I know no one in that restaurant thought he was saying 'fork'. I mean, you HAD to hear it. It DID NOT sound at all like 'fork'. I am not at all easily embarrassed...but THAT was EMBARRASSING!

My mom tried to console me by saying, "Remember when you were about that age, you would say 'Spoo' instead of 'Spoon' so your dad kept stressing the 'N' until finally you just called it a 'spoona'." Um, yeah, not the same. Spoona:spoon = cute, F**k:Fork = embarrassing. And what do you do when Busy calls ALL utensils f**k, because he does.

It's ok. Really it is. And it's funny as heck, just not, you know, funny in public.



So I'm getting ready to wrap up this post when in saunters my blue-eyed wonder. Pajama bottoms on, teeth brushed, shirtless...but that's ok, because he opened up mom's underwear drawer and gotten out a pair of cotton Victoria Secrets undies and he's sportin' it headband style a la Olivia Newton John. While we have a short conversation, in which I think he's asking me why can't he watch Bob Bot (Spongebob) and something about cookies, he manages to pull the undies around his neck and put his arm through one leg hole sort of giving a Rambo impression....except navy blue v.s. cotton undies with pink writing on them is not very Rambo-ish, so he works them down to his waist where he decides he's happy with them as a belt and walks off waving and saying "Bye-bye", "See ya". The only reason I didn't take a picture is because I was laughing too hard.

So that's my boy. And I would take 5 more just like him.